One Bell: [Written/Accidental Video] No Gallows Can Touch Me

[simplestgift]

[Written in a shaky hand]

I don't know if anyone is really out there. I seem to be caught up in a tree. In my defence, the tree looks worse than I do. I think I am winning. However, it is very cold and windy up here, and I can't seem to make it down on my own. I've heard about safe falling, but the only guideline we have about falling in the navy is "don't do it." If anyone can see this, then, I need your help. In the meantime, I'll keep writing, if you don't mind. It's just about the only way to keep moving up here.

I am Lieutenant Kennedy aboard His Majesty's Ship the Renown. If you'll believe it, that used to mean something. You may call me Kennedy (with or without the "mister"), or, since I suppose it makes no difference here, just Archie. I've answered to both. While I am sure you are dying to hear the endlessly dull story of my life and death, my literary skills are limited by my half-frozen fingers and my ability to manipulate this infernal book. Maybe later.

I can only hope this place has a decent glass of whiskey somewhere. I have a headache. Probably a permanent one. Not to mention I'm aching in body parts I actually did not have before. I suppose I should be glad to be alive again. Maybe that will come later.

Damned wings. I've no idea what to do with mys

[Accidental video: a flying shot of, well, mostly a grey-and-white blur as the book falls from the tree. A man's fingertips, nearly blue with cold, pass just in front. There's a dismayed shout and the sound of tearing cloth as the journal thumps to the ground, lying open. Barely visible in one corner is a very cold new feather, barely hanging on to a tree branch far above the ground. His pants seem to be caught and tearing. For a moment, he freezes with his arms around the branch, breathing heavily. Seconds later, he chuckles as if he just got a joke. He can barely be heard when he speaks.]

Looks like I d-didn't escape a hanging after all, H-Horatio.

[After a few more wheezing, half-hysterical chuckles, he goes very quiet.

The rest of the shot is of a location just outside the west side of town, north of the river.]

Comments

[Video]

[originaljackass]

[But it's cold outside. Meh. On the other hand, never hurts to have someone owe you one, right?]

Sure, why not. You've got a good view on things. Think you can clue me in on where to find you?

[Video]

[simplestgift]

Well...there's a lot of great t-trees and snow, and I'm still not quite convinced I haven't g-gone completely mad and been jacketed like the C-Captain, talking to a damned book, so I d-don't believe so.

[Video]

[originaljackass]

You better have a pretty damn good grip if you expect me to find you in a forest.

[Video]

[simplestgift]

[He scrabbles a bit, trying to climb back onto the branch, catches something on the corner of his eye, then squeezes his eyes shut]

There are houses. Through the trees, quite a way. There's a river to the south.

[He talks in north-south-east-west easier than left-right]

[Video]

[originaljackass]

[That's more useful anyway. Jack gives that a moment to think it over.]

Good enough. We'll see how quick I can be.

Re: [Video]

[simplestgift]

[By this point, Archie's only reply is more teeth chattering.]

[Video]

[originaljackass]

[And Jack is out for a brisk stroll in the cold. In a light jacket of all things. When you've shacked up with the Snow Queen, you don't let things like a little chill bother you. Unless someone has headed him off, Jack will eventually find Archie's tree... in, oh, say fifteen minutes or so.]

[simplestgift]

[Mr. Kennedy has managed to somehow get back on top of the branch. At least it's fairly sturdy. On the other hand, he doesn't seem to be moving very much. His wings, since he has get to know what to do with them, are splayed haphazardly, feathers being tossed about by the wind.]

[originaljackass]

[Well there you are. You, my friend, don't look so hot. Pun not intended.]

Hey buddy, you still alive up there? No point in me getting you down if you've gone and croaked.

[simplestgift]

[Archie stirs, then his face appears over the edge of the branch. Even though branches don't have edges. What else do you call it?]

[originaljackass]

Good enough.

[Well, brilliant Jack didn't bring a ladder. But come on, he climbed beanstalks in his youth. What's a tree to him? Pulling off his gloves, he stuffs them in his pocket and goes straight to the trunk of the tree. What does he do? He just climbs it, digging his fingers into the bark to climb. To his satisfaction, it seems to be working.]

[simplestgift]

[So the wings he can handle. Dying and showing up in a snowy world when he had last been in Jamaica? Not a problem. But a guy who can dig his fingers into trees? Gets a weird look. But no comment, since he seems to be being rescued.

Except...what exactly is the man planning to do once he gets up here?]

[originaljackass]

[He plans to get up to your branch and, once he's sure it's sturdy, sit down next to you. Since this is all about getting Archie to owe him, he pulls off his own jacket and holds it out - but not before retrieving his pack of smokes from one of the pockets. He's not that generous.]

Damn. I think it's too windy to light one up.

[simplestgift]

[Archie's eyes drift shut. He mumbles.] Most likely.

[originaljackass]

[You get a light punch in the shoulder.]

You're not cozy by the fire yet, buddy. [He leans down to get a look at the fall.] I figure the best way down is for me to jump. I'll have to carry you bridal style, but you so much as suggest it's more than a rescue, you'll wish you fell, capiche? I'm only into babes.

[simplestgift]

[Kennedy has no idea what half those words mean, but frankly, he grew up on a ship and therefore has no personal bubble, so he's not going to comment or complain.]

Mright. You look like Cleveland.

[originaljackass]

I've been to Cleveland. It sucks.

[Which is why he's none too gentle as he reaches over to grab Archie and get a good hold of him for the jump. Now is your time for any last objections.]

[simplestgift]

[Archie winces a little as he's man-handled, but relaxes back to drowsing once Jack has a proper hold on him. He remembers being carried a bit like this once before, sort of. Except it was rain back then instead of wind. It's the only part of it he remembers for certain, since it was the only thing keeping him from passing out completely.]

[originaljackass]

[Once he's sure he has a good hold of Archie, Jack eases towards the edge... and scoots himself off. One advantage of it being the winter is that there's a clear view of the ground below, so this trip doesn't involve any annoying branches getting in the way. As the ground nears, Jack begins to realize this was further down than he thought.

He lands on the ground with a rather painful crunch that causes him to fall forward. It won't be much more than a tumble for Archie, but Jack is over here dealing with some broken bones. Sure, they'll heal fast, but it won't stop the string of obscenities that ensue.]

Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Dammit! Ow! [Once he rolls over onto his back, he sits up and stretches his legs out, quite painfully, and lets the bones snap back into place. Why does this always happen to him?]

[simplestgift]

[Archie--by the time he finishes spitting out his mouthful of snow, at least--finds himself barely holding his head out of the snow and staring at Jack in a pretty horrified manner. Just staring. Because this is a special kind of strange. There's the strange that has absolutely no human resemblance that is a little easier to bear. But the strange that starts out as deceivingly normal? His brain is telling him to disregard it altogether, but DAMN. He speaks suddenly.]

That's right. I'm dead. This must be part of it.

[originaljackass]

[Yeah, that hurt. But you know what? He's getting to his feet, despite his legs having got bloodied up from the fall. His pants are stained, but he seems no worse for wear.]

Believe me, we're not dead. I've seen hell. It ain't cold. [He offers a hand up to Archie.]

[simplestgift]

[Archie stares at the offered hand for a moment, then takes it gingerly, as if afraid to hurt him.]

You m-must tell me all about it sometime. [He thinks he's being facetious.]

[originaljackass]

Probably one you've heard before.

[It's an old fable after all. Once Archie is on his feet, Jack tosses that jacket around him and takes the lead, lighting up a cigarette as he does. As he starts walking towards town, he holds a single smoke up between his finger.]

You smoke?

[simplestgift]

[Anything to keep warm. Archie reaches for the cigarette. Little does he know what ELSE people put into cigarettes a couple hundred years into the future.]

[originaljackass]

[Fortunately he doesn't have any magic to light up the cigarette. Just a lighter. From the 21st century. No big.]

Despite what my own rescuer, hot and smoking as she was, thought the other day - walking all the way to the store barefoot in the snow isn't exactly pleasant, even for me. [He points ahead to a nearby community building.] So take a load off there. I'll fetch the essentials.