Twenty-five Bells: [Written/Action] Night of the 24th and morning of the 25th.

[simplestgift]

[The night is chill and quiet, and Midshipman Archie Kennedy falls asleep hoping never to leave this place.]


[The flickering shadows of the room, dancing to and fro with the light of candles, cross his sleeping face. Hours ago, he experienced his first Thanksgiving. He'd seen and tasted and been welcome even when he was too overwhelmed to speak. Everything about the day was beautiful. Everything about these ten days has been beautiful. Healing. He's been quiet, skeptical, waiting impatiently for the other shoe to fall out of this impossibly blue sky, but everything remains serene.

Before he sleeps, he remembers one last thing: the Lieutenant, as he is wont to call his future self, has no idea how good he really has it.

Oh, he knows he has it good, and he is grateful for it. Still, the Lieutenant is more cynical than the midshipman even as he is more cheerful. Why shouldn't he be? The midshipman has only been struggling out from under his reputation for a few months now. The Lieutenant struggled for years, heard the same criticism and more, the same pity and more, the same judgments and more. Now the battle is past, he is so terrified of having to fight it all over again that he sees even his friends as a threat should they learn too much. That fear makes him hold them at arm's length, although he pretends otherwise. Useless, exhausting fear. Sometimes he hides from it. Sometimes he runs from it. Sometimes he looks it in the eye, coaxes it away from the hold, challenges it to a duel, denounces it under oath, leaps with it off a cliff, but it is always there.

Maybe, just maybe, it doesn't have to be.]

[Before bed, he writes in the journal. He does not sign his name, but the camera catches a soft smile on his face as if a weight has been lifted.]

If I am silent, let it be because I do not wish to speak and not because I am afraid to be heard.

[The Lieutenant has always been ashamed of him, as he is of himself. Ashamed to have him as his past, and ashamed that he will not remain there, where he belongs. Perhaps that will change, although it will take a long time. Perhaps he will even learn to see himself as others have described him to the midshipman. You are happy now. Don't ruin it on my account. I wish you, always, the very best of luck.

The morning is chill, but he is warm and the shadows are gone, and Lieutenant Archie Kennedy wakes up a whole person.



For a time he lies quietly in bed, allowing himself to be pleasantly empty. Then, with a soft exhalation, he releases his death grip on his paradigms.

I am safe.

Kennedy believed, as others do, that he knew how the world works. Luceti, though, is not his world. His friends, and even some he never knew before, have seen him at his most vulnerable, and everything was okay. He was treated with decency and sometimes even respect. Always there is danger, but with it a net beneath his feet to catch him. He thinks he understands Guy Burgess' little utterance a little better now--friendship is everything.

I am loved.

This one is harder. Accepting this means he will have to accept that there is something about him to love. That will come in time. Hard to believe or not, it's truth. He is loved, and to deny it is a fruitless insult to himself and, more importantly, those who love him. Loved.

He feels unstoppable.

It won't last forever, of course. It's still a step forward, and he's not quite sure where it will take him. It is, nevertheless, a step that must be taken and a choice that must be made.]

[After cooking an unnecessarily fancy breakfast for himself and his housemate, he writes again on the journal network, in his happy delirium forgetting to stay anonymous.]

It appears I have come up a bit short lately, but welcome to all new feathers. You should be told that if ever you feel unsafe in your own home for any reason whatever, you may speak with someone at the Welcome Center and you will be placed in a safe home for as long as you need.

Moreover, it is a bit late in coming, but those of us more accustomed to 'old world' traditions will be hosting a Christmas feast and ball on December the First. Ungodly early, of course, but we did not wish to compete with the new feather season round Twelfth Night. All are welcome to attend, but we ask you arrive in full dress--formal clothing. Anyone willing to volunteer to help with cooking, decorating, or music would be most welcome.

[After realizing his mistake and fretting for a bit that he wasn't anonymous for the first announcement, Archie will be knocking on the doors of house 7 and the beach house for some unannounced visits. Catch him in between if you like.

OOC note: Any IC questions about the ball that have been answered OOCly can be handwaved if you prefer.]

Comments

[simplestgift]

[She will be greeted with this smile.]

1/2

[herotypical]

[ pardon her dour mood. her lover just ran off on a mission he only told her about the night before.

so she's about to step aside and let the midshipman into the house when...]

Wait. Archie?

/needs happier hug

[herotypical]

[ he's not the midshipman at all!

she drags him immediately into a hug the likes of which he enjoyed (or didn't enjoy) when he had first returned from his kidnapping. ]

Welcome back.

/needs hug icon, period

[simplestgift]

Back properly this time. [He returns the embrace more tightly than usual.] And I've yet to flee for my life.

[herotypical]

...That's a good sign. We didn't manage to scare young-you off, huh?

[ scare. with some trepidation, she remembers her before-bed conversation with the pirate. hmm. ]

[simplestgift]

He was not frightened of you, Buffy. [He pulls away enough to give her a good, long look.] You were different, with him. Than you are with me, I mean. Or...different with the younger me, I should say.

[herotypical]

Clearly I didn't get the chance to show him why he should be frightened of the Slayer. [ a light joke; she ushers him inside and shuts the door. ]

...Different? [ she had barely noticed, herself; however, it makes sense. midshipman kennedy had fallen into the scope of people who needn't know how emptied-out and broken she could be. he knew none of her weaknesses and so she could play the valley-girl act around him. ]

[simplestgift]

Well. I would never have guessed you aren't always so cheerful. [In he comes, and strips off his greatcoat.] Perhaps I should have guessed.

[As a midshipman on the Justinian, he had performed the exact same charade. But he'd had his own problems as well, so perhaps seeing that in someone else was a bit much to expect.]

[herotypical]

Or we could pretend that it was unguessable and that I'm kinda like a master spy. I did spend seven years fooling the rest of Sunnydale into thinking I was just an ordinary girl, after all. Complete with priorities that only involved shoes or catching up on the latest entertainment news. It's...

[ she took his coat for him -- hanging it up. ] It's easier, though. When I don't have to pretend. Well -- easier on me. Probably not easier on you.

[ which leads her into an awkward an inevitable: ] Sorry about that.

[simplestgift]

No, I understand. Every day on Justinian was like that. It is easier when someone understands.

[He sits on the couch, clasping his hands and resting his elbows on his knees.]

[herotypical]

[ a slight muscle-twitch along her cheek as she remembers the justinian from their time in the dome. ]

And it was kinda cool to be actually older than you. For once. Instead of just pretending with every fibre of my being that I am.

[simplestgift]

You still pretend that? It doesn't matter, I suppose. I was born before Horatio, but I've never felt like the older one.

[herotypical]

Of course I still pretend that. Because...[ because the moment she stops is just another way of letting go of dawn, here. ] Because that Shift certainly seems to think it should've been so.

[simplestgift]

It's all right. I'm destined to be the youngest, somehow. I do hope I wasn't too much trouble the last...ten days? Eleven?

[herotypical]

...Trouble? [ an incredulous look as she also takes a seat. ] You were way more help than trouble.

[simplestgift]

You helped me more than I helped you.

...Thank you.

[herotypical]

Archie. I dragged you dress-shopping and then I forced pie on you. Pie made by my hands. How was that helpful?

[simplestgift]

You kept me busy and fed. Come to think on it, quite a few were a bit preoccupied with feeding me.

[herotypical]

Food. It's a social thing. And -- besides, all of it pales in comparison to that dress. I still don't understand where you got your fashionableness from.

[simplestgift]

Is it unthinkable for a man to know what a woman looks comely in? We do have opinions about such things, you know.

[herotypical]

Oh. I'm aware. Those opinions aren't normally so...[ a small hand gesture; after all, she's most used to dealing with jack's opinions on such things, lately. ] Elegant.

[simplestgift]

Please, Buffy. We're not animals.

...Well. I'm not, at any rate. A blind man could see that gown was meant for you.

[herotypical]

You're not. No. But -- still? Thank you. For your help. I'd be lost...God, I'd probably try and find a fitting dress and end up with something normally worn to a...a...something that isn't a Christmas ball.

[simplestgift]

No false modesty, now. You'd have done well enough. But you are welcome. It helped me to take my mind off of things, anyway. I do apologize for surprising you, though.

[herotypical]

Archie -- I...I didn't mind being surprised. And I never mind talking about her. Okay?