[She processes it in her head. Lewd things he could have hanged for? There were plenty of hanging offences in the Royal Navy, but not many that she knew of were lewd. Lewd could refer to language or actions but what could be done to...
He used to... do things. Lewd things...
The realization rattles her in a way that she was not prepared for. Not because she is horrified of him, but because the thought of what this man has been through is horrifying. To think there were such men in His Majesty's Royal Navy shocks her. She had known men to be ambitious to a fault, she had known them to be overly righteous, she had known them to be paid off and corrupt for it, but never had she suspected such outright cruelty. Perhaps from pirates but never...
God in heaven, he must have been terrified. She as a lady had been thrown to pirate crews, held prisoner in Sao Feng's cabin and nearly taken advantage of, grabbed in hostile ways and been threatened such indecencies, and had been terrified even then. She had >i>only been threatened, and she had been terrified. She could not imagine enduring a torment that would return again as he had.]
Archie... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
[She doesn't wish to be pitying, but she could not be more sincere. She is sorry such a thing ever happened to him, that anything ever gave him reason to be afraid in that way. To be humiliated in that way.
Her palm cups his forehead and brushes strands away from his eyes. She wants him to look at her, and if he does, he will see many things.
She doesn't want him to be ashamed. She doesn't want him to be terrified of shadows in the past. It suddenly becomes clear to her that her love has plenty of his own reasons to be so abashed, though she cannot abide by them. She cannot agree that he has true reasons to feel so unworthy, or any at all.
He will see her shock, he will see that she is pained, and he will see that there is nothing in this world that would make her leave his side for it.]
no subject
He used to... do things. Lewd things...
The realization rattles her in a way that she was not prepared for. Not because she is horrified of him, but because the thought of what this man has been through is horrifying. To think there were such men in His Majesty's Royal Navy shocks her. She had known men to be ambitious to a fault, she had known them to be overly righteous, she had known them to be paid off and corrupt for it, but never had she suspected such outright cruelty. Perhaps from pirates but never...
God in heaven, he must have been terrified. She as a lady had been thrown to pirate crews, held prisoner in Sao Feng's cabin and nearly taken advantage of, grabbed in hostile ways and been threatened such indecencies, and had been terrified even then. She had >i>only been threatened, and she had been terrified. She could not imagine enduring a torment that would return again as he had.]
Archie... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
[She doesn't wish to be pitying, but she could not be more sincere. She is sorry such a thing ever happened to him, that anything ever gave him reason to be afraid in that way. To be humiliated in that way.
Her palm cups his forehead and brushes strands away from his eyes. She wants him to look at her, and if he does, he will see many things.
She doesn't want him to be ashamed. She doesn't want him to be terrified of shadows in the past. It suddenly becomes clear to her that her love has plenty of his own reasons to be so abashed, though she cannot abide by them. She cannot agree that he has true reasons to feel so unworthy, or any at all.
He will see her shock, he will see that she is pained, and he will see that there is nothing in this world that would make her leave his side for it.]